My emotions have been like the mouse trap roller coaster at Lunar Park, up one second, down the next, left, right, round and round in a little cart that an adult can hardly fit into. All on a contraption that looks as though it’s about to break, children won’t even go on this ride it stands still most of the time, if it still exists at all. Welcome to my world over the past few weeks!
Confrontation in an adult’s life is a big deal. Having a baby, starting a new job, finances, striving and especially when a person takes on something new.
Although, such an amateur in the world of photography and creativity, I find my self comparing myself to people who have taken photos for years, I then take a down ward spiral on the “mouse trap” start making them wrong and subconsciously wanting to “throw the towel in?”
In the past week I have had the privilege of attending two yoga classes. From the first class I discovered a world of finding balance and doing the practice of yoga like it’s the first time, by doing this you are not putting any expectation on yourself.
In the second class of yoga we worked with the element of fire. First we had to decide what type of fire we were. Was I a raging fire tearing through a forest or was I a candle dimly lighting a tranquil room. I didn’t even consider the second option and was taken back at the suggestion of fire being calming?
We then entered the practice of the dragon, a symbol of fire. I was bright red, ivory under my wings with orange boarders. We went into the practice of the “baby dragon” once again as if we were doing the pose for the first time. I got really present to what my 8-month-old son was going through. Maybe it was because I was lying on my tummy with all my limbs in the air just like he would be before learning to crawl, and how he is learning to stand and then will learn to walk. Although he has “grizzly” days and expressions of “frustration” in general he does all this learning with a smile on his face and looking adorable.
I acknowledge that as adults our parents have set us free and we are living great lives but I love the thought that while I’m learning to take amazing photos, it’s going to hurt, I’m gong to get frustrated and angry at my self, but, all in all I can explore this world of creativity and photography with laughter, joy, grace, style, professionalism, adventure finding new things, new ways and new places.
In this way I will attract the world, instead of being like the mousetrap rollercoaster that stands empty and isolated if it still stands at all?
In the class we had to think of three things that “light the fire” in us. Mine was my family, adventure/Travel, The Majestic Red Shed (taking photos/writing) and dinner parties with plenty of good food, red wine and good company where every one cry’s from laughter at least once in the evening.
My learning from this is to be kind to my self and make time for the things that light the fire with in me, no matter what it takes.